Specially Sized Sheets for my Pocket Book
The linen Assault on my Wallet from the left flank

I naively thought that I only had to worry about coming up with the cost of tuition, fees, books, Residence Hall, and Dining Hall charges.  

When the letter arrived from the Residence Hall Association of the Very Big University addressed to the parents of A - I thought, "Finally, someone is going to tell me how much I have to pay."  I opened the envelope and was immediately assaulted with this headline shocker:

Don't Make the Mistake of Thinking your Regularly Sized Sheets will fit our Specially Sized Mattresses!

I read further, the VBU has "specially sized: mattress that my poor inadequate home sheets just will not fit.  "Don't get caught empty handed," the letter warns me, "of try to find specially sized sheets on move in date" and more ominously the letter warns of several poor students whose thoughtless parents let them suffer through sleepless nights on ill-fitting sheets.  

I am told that for a mere $83.15 (shipping is included!) I can purchase the Complete Campus Collection of "Specially Sized" Linens that are not only guaranteed to fit but also guaranteed to last until graduation.  This prompt the disturbing self-inquiry into what do they think our little cherub A will be doing on those sheets that might wear them out before four years have passed.

If that were not enough incentive, the letter promises me by ordering now, my wife and I will be able to smugly shake our heads on move in day at other parents who paid too much and over bought for their incoming student.  This last bit then completes the assumed trifecta of undergraduate marketing psychology: (1) Fear of our cherub suffering like HC Anderson's the Match Stick Girl; (2) The ability to fearlessly purchase with a guarantee; and (3) A promise to be able to one-up our parent peers on moving day as our sheet purchase reveals their cluelessness and our obvious intelligence.

Alas for the Residence Hall Association - it only succeeded in making me so mad, that my poor wife had to hear me rant about it most of the evening.  You may see sheets and $83.15 - but I see the start of the fiscal rape by a thousand tiny withdrawals.

Saving for Kid's College
Why I am not driving a Lexus any time soon

So the good news first, we have about $51,000.00 saved for College Tuition - which considering the doldrums of the market is not shabby.  The bad news is that I have to split that amount five kids - four of whom will be going through College throughout the next seven years.  

2012 - 2013 One Child - A

2013 - 2014 Two Children - A and H.

2014 - 2015 Three Children - A, H and E

2015 - 2016 Four Children A, H, E and M (This is the year my my wallet catches fire.)

2016 - 2017 Three Children H, E and M (Ready or not A is off the list!)

2017 - 2018 Two Children  E and M

2018 - 2019 One Child M

For the past seven or so years I have been putting away about $100.00 per child each month - the equivalent of a healthy car payment and I am in the all-too common position to know that while I can help pay for things - I am not in a position to promise to pay every expense over the next seven years.  

Yes, the little cherubs will need to find employment.

Theoretically I have enough saved to to pay for three semesters of tuition for A without needing to reach into my pocket.  That is misleading though.  It is like having enough to pay for the fare for a cheap airlines and then watching all the baggage, 9/11 Security, Taxes and airport fees suddenly materialize.  Then they want $4.00 for a can of soda during the flight.  

Tuition, Fees, Housing and Meal Plan at VBU (Very Big University) is roughly $26,600.00 for business majors.   This does not include the captive financial molestation that occurs at the Book Store at the beginning of each semester. Currently we have about $12,000.00 saved for A's college.  (Strangely for non-business majors the cost is $22,000.00 so I have to ask what is the extra $4,600.00 purchasing?)

So the bottom line is start saving early!

Seven Years of Fiscal Rape
An Introduction of how all of this Started

Things really started much longer ago when I decided to have children in the first place.  I grew up with  mindset that College was as much of a necessity as clothing and food, but that would go back way too far.  Instead we will just start with the normal beginning.  Once the first of our quartet of children graduated from High School and was accepted into College, then distant thought became reality.  

It is time to pay for College.  

This Blog is devoted to one parent's efforts and travails in paying for not one, but four children's college educations.  My wife and I are a blended family with two sons and two daughters.  There is a brief window during summer when their ages this year are 15, 16, 17 and 18.  More precisely, especially in terms of the looming financial time bomb for me - this year I have a 10th Grader, 11th Grader, 12th Grader and a College Freshman.  

In other words, the next seven years are going to be a financial shit storm and fiscal rape.

I am fortunate in three respects.  I started saving for college on a sustained basis for ten years.  I earn an above average income.  I have had the force (and peace) of mind to limit my exposure to in-state tuition here in Colorado.  

I have also made a few decisions and commitments that will make things harder on my pocketbook.  I am determined that my children avoid debt and particularly student loans.  I have the continued fantasy that my children will move out and stay out of the house (holidays and vacations excepted) when they graduate high school - so room and board will be part of the equation.  I have also determined that I will not go into debt as well.

So this year starts with our first little cherub, who I will call "A" who has been accepted to the Very Big University.  This is year one of the next seven years of paying for College for four young adults.